I made these last winter for my daughter when I started to notice that she was shifting and feeling older. A lot of the things that we'd talk about together, she was doing on her own. Things like writing goals and dealing with big emotions in a positive way. It felt like she was moving from childhood to something new—a transition of sorts towards adolescence.
It was winter, and I was struggling a lot with the darkness and boredom. I had been thinking about birthdays and how to add an element of ceremony and rites of passage. Something more than cake and presents. I planned a whole ceremony of sorts where I'd make a spiral out of snow in a park near our house and lay these wooden picture out alongside a candle throughout the spiral. In the middle would be a bundle of wooden blank squares, one for each year until she left home, where she could choose her own word that I would then paint.
The ceremony part didn't happen. I do a lot of things out of the norm, and for the most part, my kids are game, but this time it stretched her out of her comfort zone to do something in the open. So instead, I decided that I would give her a painting whenever it felt like good timing and use the notebook to share why I picked the word and how I saw her displaying the specific characteristic. I have also been adding stories about myself into the writing as well as gentle advice or ways to honor herself. I've given her three, and she now asks for new ones to appear. My hope is that these paintings and writings help her when she sees something different in the mirror. Finding ways to recognize the positive traits I see in her as well as to help her learn to identify what she likes about herself.
I love the idea of recognizing specific life changes and doing something that has meaning and depth. It doesn't have to look like this. It can be simple. It can also include others, which is the point of this post.
I've written little books about rites of passage that I've never published (yet) and give out worksheets at my Moon Cycle Circles for girls to plan a celebration for their first menses (first period). To give them the option of how they might want to celebrate and recognize this change in their life. I also have each one sign their name to the back of the painted seasonal cycle displays that I use to explain the cycle. Exploring sisterhood and our connection to each other in this special way. It’s really special to see the names of all the youth I’ve taught about cycle awareness and their bodies.
I'm hoping next year, to find individuals in the community who want to collaborate with me in hosting gatherings for women. Spaces where we can come together to talk, learn, and explore the rites of passage that are meaningful in our lives.
